'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
