I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Boobs are out for the taking
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
