We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
