My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
