that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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