I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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