Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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