we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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