chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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