We're facebook friends in real life
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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