I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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