Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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