So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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