I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
