she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
