I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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