her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Rumble strips road head = magical
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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