my sisters under your porch take her home
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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