i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
