stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
not ubering you a puppy
I deserve this hangover.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
