if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
