Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
