Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
