great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
