He is such a slut. More and more my type.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
