due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
