I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
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