My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
