Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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