Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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