not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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