Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
