your room smells of hookers.
And success
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
