and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you traded sex for a burrito?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize