exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Randomize