dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
