Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize