so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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