scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
