looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
