how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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