yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
