Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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