i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Princesses don't give blow jobs
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
