I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
