You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
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