I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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