I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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