I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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