I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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