And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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