People in love make me want to vomit
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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