So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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