A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
