Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize