Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
