I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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