Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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