Having a random hookup so left but love u
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
