ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
