I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
