you're like a bully in the Christmas story
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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