evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
