He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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