just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My vagina just recognized that song.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just had sex on a roof
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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