he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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