Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
