remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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