he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Terrible idea I love it
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
