This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize