mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She swung at the pinata with crutches
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
