you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I AM VODKA MAN
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
