I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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